Picture this: You’ve just broken up with your girlfriend – yes, the one that you swore up and down that you were going to marry – and you’re about to be single again. What do you do? Where do you go? How do you learn how to walk again? For four years I’ve had to build, destroy, and then rebuild again. It hasn’t been easy but when was it ever?
Since my last relationship, I’ve consorted with a multitude of women trying to find a way to quickly fix what was broken. I didn’t give myself time to heal from it which meant clinging to whoever gave me the desired attention which is probably a recipe that Anthony Bourdain would suggest for disaster. I wasn’t single for more than a few weeks before I was already on a date with a young lady that I met via OkCupid or in my case OkStupid.
You can’t rush moving on. It has to be organic. The young woman in question aka the rebound was better as a friend with benefits than as an actual love interest. The only thing we had in common was the “need” to jump each others bones and once that happened, there was nothingness. Though we aren’t necessarily friends, we are still cool but I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wasn’t close to being the one for me. My online dating travesties didn’t end with her, instead I spent went on many unsuccessful campaigns including a onetime dalliance with a now card carrying member of the “F*ck Mike Beon sorority”. Last year I tried to mend that situation just to let bygones be bygones and when I mentioned the friendship she promptly informed me that it was a “fuckship”. Well, damn!!! And to her credit, though the sex was on point we weren’t good for each other.
Let’s be dreadfully honest, I was a filthy young man during the last four years. I didn’t even have a bunch of sexual partners during this period but my dick hijacked my brain. Some of those women I shouldn’t have been with especially “Summertime Shootout” which is a name of young woman that was as authentic as a 3 dollar bill. She was fraudulent as fuck but the sex was stupendous! Even though I regret wasting time with her, I’ll never say anything bad about that night of passion. NEVER I SAY! NEVER!!!!!
As of now, I’m not here for the childish games. I know what I want and what’s required to have it. I’ve healed quite a lot since the break up and I’m no longer looking to fill voids with frivolous “relationships”. Whatever comes next will be something of substance. It has to be or else I’ll be going in a never-ending cycle of disappointment. I can’t go out like that…