Pissed off. I, like many of you who were tuned into CNN or any other source of media this week, witnessed an ignored injustice. The grand jury decided NOT to indict Ferguson Police Officer Darren Wilson in the wrongful killing death of Michael Brown. I wasn’t surprised. I’ve seen it before with Sean Bell, Oscar Grant, Amadou Diallo, and so many others in this country. Enough is Enough. I’ve grown very tired of seeing young black lives lost due to fear. It’s crazy to think about bringing children into a world where the color of your skin comes with an expensive price that my ancestors paid for with blood, sweat, tears, and constant frustration. What am I supposed to do? Complaining about the intangible and screaming at invisible bullies won’t do anything but increase my personal stress levels. I can’t have faith in a judicial system that refuses to treat all of its citizens equally.

For me it’s not a black and white problem, its an issue of justice. It’s a crime against humanity. Police corruption runs rampant in this country and but there are still great cops out there that sacrifice their lives for those that they’re serving and protecting. If I was really an emotional person, I’d said fuck everybody but again that does nothing but escalate the problem, especially on social media. I saw my fair share of tweets stating “Fuck The Police” and growing racial tension which is completely understandable. I can’t play that game when there’s more pressing matters at hand that affects every citizen in this country no matter their color or creed plus I’ve rocked with too many white women to be all Huey Newton all of a sudden (sorry not sorry). I know who and what I’m fighting for when I step outside of the comfortability of my home into the vicious bowels of the real world. I saw a sign held up by a resident of Ferguson after Mike Brown’s murder that read “Is It Open Season On a Nigga’s Ass?” and though I found the wording to be quite comical, I knew what he meant. In fact, WE ALL received the message.

As black men in America, we’ve become the hunted. If not by corrupt police that could give a Billie Dee shit about a black life, it’s dip$hits in our neighborhoods that don’t value themselves or others around them so they are quick to pick up a gun and shoot before considering that maybe, JUST MAYBE they are making one of the biggest mistakes of their lives. See, the problem isn’t just with THEM, its with US also. We are so adamant about protesting against those that wrong our people but we aren’t as vigilant toward those that make it difficult to live in our own communities.

My anger isn’t one sided. I’m pissed that Mike Brown bugged out in that convenience store over cigarellos. I’m upset that Darren Wilson killed an unarmed child. Pissed that rioters in Ferguson burned down businesses and looted in their own community. Angry that these streets have ensnared many. And I was, for a day or so, deeply resentful of people saying that Darren Wilson was just “doing his job” based on weak facts and a horrid grand jury proceedings. Why doesn’t anyone value life? Why the fuck are black lives not as important? Why do we not see ourselves as important? 2Pac (yeah that guy) said it better than I’ve ever heard it “We can’t have peace til the ni**as get a piece too” and that seems to be the one of few options that we have to truly getting somewhere in this country.

Once Again, It’s not a black and white thing, it’s deeper than that. On a more intrinsic level, it’s about connecting to higher level where we all can see eye to eye without our egos getting in the way. That’s enough for the night… I just found a Lil Debbie tumblr page and my concentration’s shifted.

Good Night…